What do I look like?

Realising that this is the last day to post…and realising that I haven’t fulfilled the criteria fills me with some despondency.

I’m wondering why I  have posted so few times, when I have spent so much time on the net.

I’ve been so concerned about getting it wrong that I have done very little!

But any way…thinking about me on line….who am I.

I have started a couple of blogs, this one obviously and another anonymous one.

Certainly the on the anonymous one I find myslelf more playful. I am less concerned about being judged by people I know which leaves me able to express parts of myself that I don’t usually at work, or even in Auckland.

In Auckland, at work at study I seem to be the grown up me. The mum, the wife, the worker, the daughter in law, the neighbour, the responsible one. Sure infused with me but not the me that I feel like when I’m me and unencumbered.

And what about the online me.
Well that seems to have different mes too.

 

There is the eco warrier me. The one that preaches peace harmony and eco love. I have fun being this one although she can be sickeningly sweet and perfect. It’s easy to have high ideals in cyberspace where there are no physical actions to be taken

 

Then there is the annoying devil’s advocate me that has been known to be argue for the sake of arguing on bulletin boards.

 

There is the politically correct me that rails against all injustice without fear of context or reprisal…is very closely related to the eco warrier.

 

There is the coy and nerdy me. She seems to appear in second life, where I have just started visiting. She is socially inept and self conscious, and trying to fit in, do the right thing, look the right way.

 

Then there’s the playful me. I like this one best. The one that is irreverent. cheeky, sexy and self assured. She appears mainly in places where I am not known. Where people have less expectations of me. So she turns up in my anonymous blog and she also turns up in Wanganui (where she tends to smoke ciggies  which she doesn’t do anywhere else). I think she is the embodiment of the girl who left England, before life got complicated. My migration seems traumatic in a sense so being online allows me to go back to the me that I like best, the me that got left behind when I was 25.

She’s smart but doesn’t take life to seriously, she loves people and fun and is hopelessly optimistic. It’s funny that she only appears online as a blog as online is the perfect place for her. I think that I believe that there is no place for her in normal society anymore, and that includes in most of cyberspace. As I write this I realise that’s it sad that I allow such a vital self to be hidden, especially as I believe it to be the essence of me…why would I hide her from the world.